It doesn't seem that long ago that I wrote my last journal, but alas the future is here. My scarcity has been caused by a busy school schedule and honestly, there hasn't been many reasons for my return. I come back with new art work and some school stuff to post. This semester seemed so short yet so long at the same time. Two more weeks to go before I am out of school until January. I've learned so much since then its hard to imagine a time when I didn't know what an Orogeny was or where I could find a hot meal on campus. Luckily our tax dollars have spotted the bill for both this semester and next so the burden of coming up with money for next semester has lifted. Its a great deal easier to go to school when you're not stressing out over money constantly. My grades have been surprisingly good, all A's and B's so far. I'm looking forward to digging into some new subjects next semester.

Learning seems to be quite a treat for me lately. Its like my brain is a large infinitely large chasm that needs to be filled. I feel the urge to learn more, to know more. It has also become easier to understand things. I had another moment of clarity as people do as they age and I could figure things out better. Everything seems like one large machine working together through time. People have also become easier to understand. When I meet someone I feel I can see who they really are. I can see through them, understanding how they work. This has eased my chronic shyness greatly almost to the point of non existence. For once I find that talking to most people is enjoyable.

Oh yeah, I forgot to mention that only a few weeks before school start I had no intentions of going back. This has been probably one of the best spur of the moment decisions I have made. My plans for after school has changed. Once I get my career up and going, I hope to go back to school for a second 4 year degree in a science. I really enjoy learning about evolution and atoms. I guess I would choose a degree in Evolutionary Biology or Nuclear Physics. Either way my plans are sure to change before school ends so I am not putting too much stock in it but its a good goal to set. If I do then I will keep going and get another after that. The over all goal is to get a decent education in many fields of study so that I am able to better understand the world.

These are just some of my philosophies about life and art I recently wrote down. They're kind of answers to questions I had not yet asked, but definitely are things I needed to hear at the time. The first paragraph is a collection of different thoughts about art that I put together for the sake of organization. The second paragraph is some of my views of life and fit together a bit better than the previous paragraph. I just wanted to share with you guys so maybe you can get a better idea of who I am. As much time as I spend in chats, we never really get to know each other this well.


Be here for your work, exist in the moment when creating. Be mindful of your task. Breathe, clear your mind and concentrate on your movements. Let your mind guide the pencil. There is a blend of skill, workmanship, and communication. One fails and the piece isn’t as effective as it could be. Above all art should communicate something, effectively and clearly. Workmanship is important above technicality. Accurate anatomy and proportions drawn shitty isn’t as good as a piece executed well with some technical imperfections. As long as you can communicate ideas and create a well crafted piece, technicality will always take a back seat. Achieve an equality of congruity within your piece. Do not mix well polished elements with non finished, or over simplified elements, it screws up the functionality of the piece and the function is to communicate clearly. Perfection is gained at the cost of freedom. Find a balance between freedom and perfection. Through imperfection comes perfection. More freedom is less control. There is no such thing as an unimportant piece. Everything one does should be great. Even a sketch should have the same amount of love and thought put into as a finished piece. That’s why you see professionals create such finished looking sketches. They put their hearts into the smallest tasks. Normally, I shy away from saying a lot when someone asks questions about my work. I should be confident in my art. I should be able to discuss it openly. If I put my everything into it, then there is no reason to be shy about it. Work and be thankful where you’re at in your craft. You will improve with practice and personal growth. Don’t ride the ox to find the ox. Most of the time the answer is right in front of you.

There is more to being a good artist than having all the right tools or knowing all the techniques. It is a lifestyle. It requires a unique outlook on life and a different way of thinking. I used to always scoff at Marko Djurdjevic’s philosophy (see here) because at the time, it seemed condescending and pompous. Now, however, I find it to be true. To be a great artist, one that history remembers, you have to live a rich life. Surround yourself with culture, music, friends, and good times. Don’t get caught up in the rat race. Free yourself from humanity’s conventions, live the life you want. Turn off the TV, put down the game controller, get out of the chat room. Go and experience the things life has to offer. Fill your memories with these things and apply them to your art. Put your life into your work. Its with these lessons that your art will improve as with learning a new skill or technique. You have to follow your dreams. You get to a point in life where you have to live for yourself. Regardless of friends and family, when you die its your end not theirs. You will only have to answer for your own life and die with the memories and experiences you made for yourself. Live like you want, follow your dreams. It wont always be easy, and you may not always have money in your pockets, but once you reach your goals, you will be blessed with more than money. You will be rewarded with a sense of accomplishment and a feeling of freedom and knowing that you have done your best. Never settle for “Something is better than nothing.” Life, like the choices that make it up, is easy but not simple. Its not about the end because we all wind up in the ground, its about the journey and a long journey lies ahead of you. Don’t give up and always have faith in yourself. Always believe that you can do anything, and never let anyone tell you otherwise.

tagged me

8 interesting facts about me



1) A brief lottery obsession has left me with a weird habbit. I add up 3 digit numbers whenever I see
them. Not to get into a big back story here, but supposidly theres this holy grail of math. Many
people think theres a formula that can describe and predict random numbers. Nobody has found
it yet obviously. I keep thinking that eventually see a pattern in the numbers. I dont know,
whatever.

2) I just bleached my mohawk. It was supposed to be white but its light blonde. oh well.

3) I collect halloween decorations/clothes/masks. My room is decorated year round and I wear
my halloween sutff year round.

4) My family on my mom's side were refugees from king james.

5) My favorite hot sauce is chalula

6) My middle toe is as long as my pinky finger

7) I have a lot of black shirts, it was un intentional but it gets on my nerves.

8) I havent had a nightmare in two years.

Something has to change.
Undeniable dilemma.
Boredom's not a burden anyone should bear.
Constant over stimulation numbs me
But I would not want you any other way.
Just not enough.
I need more.
Nothing seems to satisfy.
I said, I don't want it.
I just need it.
To breathe, to feel, to know I'm alive.

Finger deep within the borderline.
Show me that you love me and that we belong together.
Relax, turn around and take my.

I can help you change tired moments into pleasure.
Say the word and we'll be well upon our waaay.
Blend and balance pain and comfort deep within you
till you will not want me any other way.
But it's not enough.
I need more.
Nothing seems to satisfy.
I said, I don't want it.
I just need it.
To breathe, to feel, to know I'm alive.

Knuckle deep inside the borderline.
This may hurt a little but it's something you'll get used to.
Relax. Slip awaaaaaaaay.

Chupa minha pica pichu
Chupa minha pica pinto

Something kinda sad about,
the way that things have come to be.
Desensitized to everything.
What became of subtlety?

How can it mean anything to me,
if I really don't feel a thing at all?

I'll, keep, digging
till I, feel, something.

Elbow deep inside the borderline.
Show me that you love me and that we belong together.
Shoulder deep within the borderline.
Relax, turn around and take my hand